Jordan and Palestine, 2025 (Preface)

Written on the way to majlis Dalail Khayrat, 13 March 2025

Some journeys are undertaken, while some journeys take you on a journey. This trip was definitely the latter; for never would I have thought that my first week of Ramadhan would be spent in the vicinity of the third most sacred mosque in Islam. Morocco? Perhaps. Mecca and Madinah? More probable. But the land of the Mi’raj? For many reasons both spiritual and practical, impossible!

But as Allah ﷾ says in Surah al-Anfal, “… They planned, but Allah also planned. And Allah is the best of planners.”

The idea of journeying to Palestine was first seeded in my mind by Ustazah Nadia H, someone whom I’ve had the pleasure to work with for several years. “Join us, Fadhilah,” she said, “It will just be a small group of my friends.” I nodded noncommittally. My dad had recently passed and my mom was in need of company whilst she carried out her iddah at home. It would be near impossible to leave her.

Days later, Ustazah Nadia sent a follow-up text, this time containing dates, costs, and itineraries. The trip would be in Ramadhan?! Even more impossible to leave mom alone! I thanked Ustazah – touched at the invite – but archived the opportunity both literally and metaphorically. There was just no way this was going to happen.

Several days passed. One evening, at Wardah Books, I was asked to man the storefront for several minutes — a rare occurrence as my permanent station was at the back office. A lady came in, browsed the shelves, then placed some books on Palestine on the counter.

“I just returned from there,” she said as she rummaged through her bag. “Oh wow, from Palestine? How was it?” “MashaAllah it was wonderful and everyone should make the intention to visit! In fact, our Palestinian guide asked that we relay this question to our Singaporean friends: What will they answer to Allah when He gave them the strongest passport in the world and they travelled everywhere, but did not even make an intention to come to al-Aqsa?”

Tears pooled in my eyes as I struggled to keep my composure whilst I checked out her books. As the door closed behind her, I felt a lump in my throat. What will I answer to Allah? Why did I not have true intentions to visit al-Aqsa? Was it a lack of knowledge? A lack of connection? Or was it really a lack of courage?

Later that night an article came out that Singapore is once more, the number one passport in the world. My thoughts drifted back to the question by the Palestinian guide, and in my heart, a small light flickered on, “Nawaina“. We intend.

Perhaps it was then that somewhere in the heavens – raised by the ameens of friends on Instagram – the Pen lifted and it was maktub, written. Because everything after fell into place in quick succession and suddenly I found myself driven forward by my mom’s enthusiastic encouragement and my best friend’s convincing arguments. Last minute confirmations were given, eleventh hour tickets were bought and precious du’a and advice were sought. The night before the second day of Ramadhan, accompanied by my mom doing her taraweeh, I packed my bags, still in disbelief at the journey I had been sent on.

Seeing my slight distress and nervousness, my mom turned to me, and said, “Place your tawakkul with Allah. Follow the instructions of your guide and make constant du’a. InshaAllah all will be well and there is nothing to worry. HasbunaAllah wa ni’mal wakeel.” Sufficient for us is Allah, and He is the best Disposer of affairs.

Little did I know that this phrase would become a constant refrain for me over the next week or so.